How to Build Self-Worth Without Outside Approval

You can build self-worth without outside approval by defining your values and living by them instead of shrinking yourself to meet other people’s expectations. Psychotherapist and author Stacey Simmons shares this perspective on personal sovereignty and women’s empowerment in a conversation with Amb. Elisha Arowojobe on The Elisha Show.

Key takeaways

• Personal sovereignty is not simply freedom; it involves a distinct way of understanding your relationship with yourself and your choices.
• Cultural expectations can pressure women to be likable, quiet and perfect, creating conflict with their own identities.
• Women’s journeys may not fit the traditional hero’s journey, so that familiar story may overlook parts of women’s experiences.
• Understanding archetypes can help people reconsider expectations they bring to relationships with parents and partners.
• Defining personal values and living by them can support greater peace.

What does personal sovereignty mean for self-worth?

Personal sovereignty means more than having freedom; it is connected to how you understand and value yourself. Simmons distinguishes sovereignty from freedom while exploring why a person’s worth need not depend on proving themselves or getting approval from someone else.

A practical starting point is to identify the values that matter to you and consider whether your choices reflect them. The focus is not on earning worth, but on living in a way that does not require you to diminish your identity to satisfy outside standards.

Why can cultural expectations make women doubt themselves?

Expectations that women should be likable, quiet and perfect can put pressure on them to act against their own identities. Simmons discusses how these cultural demands can lead women to fight against themselves.

Noticing the expectation is a useful distinction: ask whether a choice reflects your own values or an effort to satisfy a standard imposed on you. This does not mean every outside expectation is harmful; it means recognizing when meeting one requires making yourself smaller.

How can archetypes change the way you see relationships?

Understanding archetypes can help you examine the expectations you bring to relationships with parents and partners. Simmons explores archetypes as a way to reshape how people understand these relationships.

For example, you might notice that an idea about what a parent or partner should be is influencing how you interpret the relationship. Naming that expectation can create room to consider the relationship more clearly, rather than treating the expectation as the only possible way to see it.

Why might the hero’s journey not fit every woman’s experience?

The traditional hero’s journey may overlook parts of women’s experiences because women’s journeys differ from that familiar pattern. Simmons considers this difference alongside cultural expectations that shape how women see themselves.

Recognizing that one story does not fit everyone can help readers question whether a standard narrative reflects their own experience. It also offers a reason to make room for different ways of understanding women’s growth and identity.

About Stacey Simmons

Stacey Simmons is a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, author and certified therapist. Her book, The Queen’s Path, is connected to her exploration of women’s empowerment, sovereignty and the patterns that shape self-understanding.

Frequently asked questions

How do I stop relying on other people to decide my worth?

Start by identifying your own values and making choices that reflect them. Simmons’s discussion frames worth as something you do not have to earn, prove or obtain from someone else. The focus is on living without diminishing your identity to meet cultural expectations.

What is the difference between personal sovereignty and freedom?

Freedom and personal sovereignty are related ideas, but Simmons describes sovereignty as going beyond freedom. Her discussion connects it to how people understand themselves and their worth, rather than treating it as only the ability to act without restriction.

How can cultural expectations affect women’s self-image?

Expectations to be likable, quiet and perfect can pressure women to behave in ways that conflict with their identities. Simmons describes this tension as one reason women may end up fighting against themselves rather than living in line with who they are.

How can archetypes help me understand my relationships?

Archetypes can help you examine expectations you hold about parents and partners. Considering those expectations may change how you interpret a relationship and help you distinguish your assumptions from the relationship itself.

What can I do to feel more at peace with who I am?

Define the values that matter to you and look for ways to live by them. Simmons connects defining and following personal values with greater peace, while also encouraging women to embrace their identities rather than diminish themselves for society’s standards.

Listen to the full conversation with Stacey Simmons on The Elisha Show, hosted by Amb. Elisha Arowojobe, to hear more about sovereignty, archetypes and self-worth.